Citizens of Boston, Hide Your Cheeseburgers...

That's right, the artist formerly known as Bartolo Colon has indeed been signed to a minor-league contract by your Boston Red Sox. "Bartolo Colon," you say, "isn't he that fat guy with no rotator cuff?" Well, admittedly, yeah, he's that guy, as well as the guy who has a 7-13 record over the last two years. However, as we all know, hope springs eternal in Red Sox Nation. After all, we're talking about a man who only two seasons ago won both the Cy Young Award and the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest, a dual accomplishment that even noted hot dog lover Curt Schilling has yet to pull off. Besides, as Hell Yes, Guy! (hellyesguy.blogspot.com) has so well pointed out in their article that already makes all the points I wanted to make, the deal is a win-win. The Sox risk next to nothing with a minor-league deal, and have the potential to hit big with a potentially rejuvenated Colon squeezing into Schill's sweatpants while the Republican One recovers from the surgery he doesn't want to have. We're talking about a guy with 146 wins and a lifetime ERA in the high 3's (if we exclude the injury years). In other words, at least as much potential to not completely suck as, say, Matt Clement or Wade Miller? I'd have to think so, at a fraction of the cost. So yeah, maybe this is an insignificant development for Boston. But maybe not. Can you put a price on the pride with which a Red Sox fan could claim the title of Chubbiest Rotation in Baseball (unless it's done by overall average, in which case C.C. Sabathia may carry the Cleveland Indians to victory all alone)? In any case, a storyline like this means only one real thing: spring training is here. Bring on the speculation.