All-Underachieving Squad (cont.)

As promised, Ill continue to trapeze my way through all 15 American League clubs, stopping and giving credit where credit is due to the biggest blood-suckers in the game-- the All-Underachievers.

Yankees-Carl Pavano is a running joke. What else can be said? Shrewd, shrewd move by Theo getting outbid by the Yanks. And I put Alex Rodriguez on this list. No man should be paid $28 mil a year to play baseball, especially not a fojacker like ARod.
Red Sox-Lugo, Crisp - Our aformentioned heroes. Check last week's blog to read up on their exploits.
Toronto Blue Jays-- A.J. Burnett, Vernon Wells- Burnett, the uber-talented, perenial All-Underachiever, sports a 5.23 ERA. The Blue Jays are hoping he'll be Philadelphia's problem soon. Wells gets the nod with his 9 HRs and $126 million contract.
Baltimore Orioles-- Not many easy selections here. Daniel Cabrera's generally good for a few punch lines but he's been half-decent this year. The one noteworthy underachiever is Melvin Mora, who may be showing signs of his age. Mora has decreased range at third and sports an unhealthy .239 batting average.
Tampa Bay Rays-- The surprise of the 2008 season, Tampa Bay exorcised the devil and came out the other side with a damn fine ballclub. I can list a slew of overachievers, not many underachievers. Jonny Gomes perhaps? Then again, he's always been pretty awful.

Cleveland Indians-- The entire roster minus Grady Sizemore and Cliff Lee.
Chicago White Sox—Basically, a solid, overachieving team. Notable underachievers are Paul Konerko (.213, 8, 31) and Jim Thome (.242 BA). Both bashers have to start carrying their weight for the Sox to contend down the stretch.
Detroit Tigers-- Two of their biggest off-season pickups (Edgar Renteria and Dontrelle Willis) have stunk up the joint. Renteria (batting .254) simply cannot produce in the AL. The Tigers brass is secretly wishing the D-Train would fall off a train and never make it back up to Detroit. In addition, Gary Sheffield's career appears to be all but over.
Minnesota Twins- The Twinkies! Gotta love 'em. For the most part, this has been a team of overachievers. There are some exceptions. Boof Bonser (3-6, 6.50 ERA) no longer gets a pass based on his name alone.  Delmon Young has 3HRS and 35 RBIs, unacceptable numbers considering his ability.
Kansas City Royals- Poor KC. They’re one of two teams, by my logic, that go into each year knowing they have absolutely no shot (the other team being The Pirates). Its difficult to point out underachievers because, for the most part, this team is made up of guys who many felt couldn’t achieve to begin with. Of the few who have some expectations to live up to, Luke Hochevar (5.40 ERA) and Alex Gordon (.252 BA), have not come through.

Seattle Mariners- Yikes. I would have really enjoyed jumping on the Richie Sexson pig pile but, darnation, the M's cut him last night. Who does this leave me with? Oh, the rest of the roster. Adrian Beltré, José Vidro, Kenji Johjima and Miguel Batista are all failing spectacularly this year. Mariners brass has got to blow this thing up. Letting go of Bill Bavasi was a step in the right direction, but they’ve only brushed the tip of the iceberg.
Texas Rangers- A good squad here, with lots of players enjoying career years.  One notable underachiever comes to mind: What ever happened to Marlon Byrd (.242, 4, 14)?
The Former California, Now Los Angeles, Who Play Somewhere Near Anaheim, Which Is I Guess Near L.A., Angels- I feel kind of bad for Gary Matthews Jr., since he was never worth the $50 mil. he somehow cajoled out of Art Moreno's pockets. Nonetheless, with big money come big expectations. Matthews Jr. (.236, 7, 34), to put it mildly, hasn’t delivered the goods. Mike Scioscia recently benched him indefinitely.
Oakland A’s- Bobby Crosby and Eric Chavez are perennial duds. Joe Blanton, though, I didn’t see coming. Blanton (5-12, 4.94 ERA) was supposed to anchor the staff. Instead this role has fallen to…Justin Duchscherer (10-5, 1.78)??

All right, that wraps up the American League. I'll post the NL roster sometime when the spirit behooves me.