Almost exactly a year ago I wrote and published my first blog in this here forum of journalistic excellence and opinionated sports debate. I recounted the pitfalls of a thoroughly disappointing Lakers-Celtics Finals, one that should have been steeped in drama, history and haymakers but was instead hampered by flops, bricks, and poor decision-making. I find it fitting to sit here on this most unceremonious of anniversaries (does anyone still read this? if you’re out there, send money) and begrudgingly opine on yet another, equally disappointing Finals.
The Lakers thoroughly shellacked the Magic the other night to seal their 15th championship and catapult Phil Jackson, that opportunist of opportunists, past Red Auerbach on the all-time, championship list. I’d be remiss not to briefly point out what an insufferable pickle-eater Jackson is. The guy carved a hall of fame career by loitering around the likes of Michael, Shaq and Kobe (a trio you’d have to think a blind donkey could coach to some degree of success) and then he rewards himself with a self-indulgent yellow cap, highlighted with a Roman numeral “X”. God..
Enough Phil-a-bashing, though. Lets break down the Finals, i.e. lets break down the two most glaring examples of Orlando's staggering incompetence in the clutch.
Game 2-Where are the prime-time players? With a chance to steal one on the Laker’s home court and with the game on the line, the ball somehow finds its way to Courtney "Iron Fingers" Lee. The rookie from Western Kentucky, instead of passing to a teammate with a more considerable pedigree (read: anyone), drives the lane as time expires and hoists a contested floater which clangs off the rim, forcing the game into an overtime period in which the Lakers dominate for an all-too-easy W. In these situations you'd have to expect a Rashard Lewis or Hedo Turkoglu to get the final shot, right? Granted, neither has built an overwhelming "last-shot resume" but you have to go with what you've got. Courtney Lee? Really?
Game 4-Offensive defensive indifference! Although Dwight Howard threw up enough clutch-time bricks from the charity stripe to build an estate, it was Jameer Nelson's mind-numbing mind-numbness that truly cost Orlando down the stretch. Lets recap: Magic cling to a three-point lead with seconds remaining. Derek Fisher brings the ball across half-court. Nelson, who by this point should have lodged his way into Fisher's shorts, inexplicably remains behind the three point line with a disarming did-I-leave-the-gas-on? expression clouding his face. Fisher takes full advantage of Nelson's ill-timed moment of self-reflection and nails the game-tying three, forcing the game into an overtime period and causing Stan Van Gundy to lose a lung on the sideline. Mother..
Overall the Finals was another dud, which got me to thinking: when was the last half-way interesting Finals? Pistons-Lakers in 04? That went to seven games but really, I don't recall being particularly enthralled. The Spurs have been in a few Finals but for most fans the sight of Pop and Timmy on the same court is coma-inducing. Really, I think you'd have to go back to Jordan and the Bulls. Man, we are due.... Anyway, see you next year for a third installment of "The NBA Finals: Where Prolonged Ulcers Happen"..
